Tommy has been traveling this week. When I know that he has to travel I get so worried and I tend to shut myself off from the outside world. I try so hard not to let his travel effect me, but it does. Several days before he leaves I start to sleep less and less at night. So for the past five days I am working on about 4 hours of sleep each night. It's hard when I'm home alone with the kids with no support.
On Monday, I learned that my cousin died. She was 9 months younger then me. They believe that it was an OD. I didn't know my cousin that well. There were some family dynamics that caused her not to be a part of my life. (It's a long and complicated story). When we were in our early teens we spent time together like most cousins. But my paternal uncle denied that he was her father (Long complicated story) so that caused problems in her life. I remember thinking all this girl wants is to be love and accepted by her family. I also remember her as being a trouble maker. I guess it was her way of getting attention. When I learned that she died I felt so sad for her and her children. I wish that I got to know her as an adult. It made me realize that life goes by so fast. You really need to take the time to show those that you love that you love them, don't take it for granted that they know!! I hope that my cousin Nicole finally finds some peace.